did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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