I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
