i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Actions speak louder than pants.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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