Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
