You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
