...so i touched it.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
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I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
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I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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