I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize