I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
