Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
