God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
