Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Houston, we have a blender
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
