it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize