that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
That was before I lit my hair on fire
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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