he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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