THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
