Since when is my name a synonym for head?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
