yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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