i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
where am i from again
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Randomize
