I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Nicole vs. Life
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
