Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
