Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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