why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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