He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Quick, to the slutcave!
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
