We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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