Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
