I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
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