I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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