Farmville is her only friend.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
