Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
