Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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