can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
