my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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