i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
