she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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