Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
