Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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