Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
