if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
