No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
