did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
