We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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