wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
