big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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