I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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