I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
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