What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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