Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
