Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
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i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
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So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
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