im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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