Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
