drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
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