i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
