doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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