why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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