i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Randomize
