I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Randomize
