just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
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