....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
