I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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