sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
