I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
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woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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