halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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